Bad Moon Rising
by SpamWarrior
Summary: Nny and Devi have some issues to work out...
1. Nightmares

Perpetrator's Note: While I know this concept has been effectively beaten to death, I had to recycle it anyway. I like writing psychological fuckery, and the first bits of this were largely scribbled during slow (read: boring) periods at work. My first Jhonen fic, so if you must flay me please do so gently. (For anyone interested, the title is taken from a Creedence song; I highly recommend Rasputina's cover of same).

----

It was dark.

Snow, thin and grey and sad, lay in a tired blanket over the grime of the city. The recent cold snap had been just enough to turn the normal winter sprinkle into the sort of snow that becomes slush almost immediately, the kind that churns every available particle of dirt into sticky, clinging mud--until today, when the temperature had abruptly dropped, and all the drips and drizzles had frozen solid.  
Devi stared out the window, at the buildings that stood as black outlines against the oddly bright night sky. The sudden ice had knocked out power grids all over town, and without the comforting glow of the streetlamps the city looked hostile, alien. For over a year she had avoided the dark, had locked herself in her apartment and kept the lights on, but now it seemed to her that the darkness had invaded her refuge, had taken up residence and made itself at home.

She shivered, hugging her blanket tighter around herself, and turned away. Candles dotted the shelves and counters of her apartment, stuck haphazardly in bottles and on saucers, casting bizarre shadows on the walls. It was nights like this that fed creatures like Sickness, she thought; too much of it would be more than enough to send you weird in the head.

_She's gone, Devi_, she thought. _Dead and buried_. And it was true, mostly; save for odd echoes, she hadn't been troubled by Sickness since she'd torn the doll apart. Some part of her knew, though, that in this case the dead didn't have to stay dead--she'd been very, very careful to give Sickness no chance to rise from her grave. No stress, no anger, no fear--no extremity of emotion that might feed the doll's hungry ghost. She'd been doing so well, until now, until her well-worn routine had been so rudely interrupted by the frigid dark. Even her laptop had abandoned her, the battery lasting only long enough for her to light her candles before dying.

Irrational though it was, Devi was scared. No, scratch that; she was _terrified_, the fear flowing heavy through her veins, a lead weight that pressed down on her and destroyed all sagacity. Her heavy door was locked and barred, her windows were all latched, but she couldn't shake her unfounded but insistent conviction that something was coming for her, that the shadows concealed some nameless evil that sought to do her harm. She was so afraid that she was half-tempted to call Tenna, to see if her friend would come stay with her--even spending an evening listening to Spooky squeaking would be better than being alone with her nightmares.

"This is stupid," she said to herself, glancing back out the window. The moon was rising, its glow all but obscured by the sullen clouds--a full moon, rendered a faint and ghostly silver.

"So don't come round tonight," she murmured, "it's bound to take your life. There's a bad moon on the rise…." It _was _a bad moon, or at least an alien one, and like everything else on this fucking horrible night it scared her.

She glanced at the clock, the battery-operated alarm that was the only one still working in this blackout. It was almost two in the morning; she really ought to try and get some sleep. Shivering again, she blew out most of the candles and took one into her room, setting it on the end-table and curling up on her bed. Things would look better in the morning, and she'd laugh at herself for being such an idiot, but for now she was perfectly willing to hide under the blankets like a frightened child.

Silence reigned for about half an hour, broken only by the faint stir of Devi's breathing--restless and uneven at first, then deep and regular as sleep finally took hold of her.

_It's always the same, the dream. It's why she's grown to hate sleep, to fear what her dreams might dredge from her subconscious._

_They start on the hill, looking down at the twinkling lights of the city, her and Nny. It's so nice, so calm and happy, and though she _knows _what's coming, every time she can't help but enjoy it. It _was _nice; and the niceness only made all that followed all the more terrible. _

_"You want to go back to your place?" she asks Nny, and as always some part of her screams to change it, to invite him back to her apartment instead--to see if, somehow, some way, it could have ended differently._

_"Sure."_

She hadn't been asleep long when something stirred in the closet, something shifting near-silently behind the hanging clothes. The door eased open with only the faintest creak of hinges, and a figure almost invisible against the darkness crept out, stealing noiselessly across the carpet. Two eyes gleamed bright in the gloom, followed by the glint of twin blades, the polished steel reflecting the dim candlelight. One step, then two, and halfway through the third Devi sighed, rolling over in her sleep and murmuring unhappily.

_And at his house, on his ancient couch, he asks her why she wanted to go out with him, truly wondering what she sees in him. All naïve she answers, not knowing that he has great reason to doubt, and that she was a fool for not realizing what he was until it was almost too late._

Nny froze, for a moment motionless as a statue, then tiptoed forward once more. Quickly now, quick and quiet and she wouldn't feel a thing--

_Just as she's about to kiss him he…flees, leaving her alone and confused. She hears him talking to himself, or to something she can't hear, and when she follows she opens the door to the knives and shattered mirrors of his mind, the physical manifestation of his Sickness. She knows he intends to 'immortalize the moment'; her memory of that terrible instant hasn't dulled, and likely never will. But horrible as it was, as it is, memory can't compare to the nightmare fumbling of her fingers on the doorknob, to the kick that misses…_

_…to the knife that does not._

Just as he reached the edge of the bed Devi's eyes snapped open, wide and horrified, and she bit back a shriek, twitching violently beneath the blankets. At first Nny thought she had seen him, but that didn't prove to be the case--he knew when she saw him because she let loose the shriek, scrambling backward across the bed and landing in a tangled heap of sheets on the floor beyond.

Nny swore. "Devi, wait," he said, twitching--it wasn't supposed to happen this way, dammit. "Wait--"

"Fuck you!" she screamed, fumbling blindly for a projectile--her fingers closed on the clock, which she seized and hurled at him like a Frisbee. It missed entirely, smashing against the far wall. "You stay the fuck away from me!" The single candle flickered crazily as she scrabbled for a more effective weapon, scrambling barefoot over the carpet as Nny advanced, slow and implacable and dangerously irritated--this was _not _part of the Plan.

Devi kicked at him, a futile gesture with her bare feet, but a moment later her questing hand found something much more efficient--the bedside lamp. "I MEAN IT, YOU FUCKING…uh…FUCKER!"

"Original, Devi." Still he advanced, and it was with no compunction that Devi staggered to her feet and brained him with it as hard as she could.

"Don't mess with a classic," she said, or thought she said--the words came out high and hysterical, sound without meaning, as she scrambled past him and out into the living room. She didn't know how in the seven hells Nny had gotten in here, but it didn't matter--what mattered was that _she _had to get out, get anywhere that wasn't here. Tenna's apartment, the 24/7, anywhere that had people…This was a nightmare, it _had _to be a nightmare--it was always only a nightmare, until now.

She'd made it halfway across the living room when Nny's skeletal fingers closed around her ankle, jerking with unnatural strength and sending her sprawling face-first across the carpet.

"Come _on_, Devi…don't make this so…damn…_difficult_--OW!" By pure accident her heel connected with his jaw, making something crack in a way that could only be bad.

"Oh…sorry," she grunted, kicking at him with her other foot. "I'll just…roll over and _die_--" _crunch_ of a shattering saucer "--so it makes--" the squishy _thud _of a half-melted candle "--your life--SHIT!" He'd caught her arm with his other hand, fingers clinging to her wrist like a vice, jerking her backward almost hard enough to dislocate her shoulder. A fresh flood of panic gripped her--she'd kicked his ass before, but this was different, this was… this shouldn't be _happening,_ not in her apartment, her sanctuary… And with that thought her terror melted seamlessly into a deep, white-hot fury, searing away the greatest part of her trembling fear and leaving instead a sudden, vicious rage.

"Let GO, GODDAMMIT!" Devi twisted savagely, kicking and smacking and occasionally biting, but it was like beating at air--somehow he was almost never where he should be, and when she _did _land a blow it didn't seem to do any good at all.

Somehow she found her flashlight, the big heavy Maglite that her paranoid self had bought for just such a situation as this. She grabbed it and twisted again, swinging it in a savage arc that connected solidly with the side of Nny's head. The light snapped on, the beam jerking crazily as he seized her free hand, pinning both her wrists to the carpet.

"_No_," he panted. "You're coming with me, Devi, so just knock it off, okay?" He sounded more petulant than angry, as though she were refusing to follow the rules of some game. "Come _on._"

"Fair? FAIR? I'll give you _fair_," she snarled, desperately trying to free at least one hand. Nny _did _release her wrist, but only so he could snatch the flashlight from her fingers.

"I'm sorry, Devi," he said, sounding as though he genuinely meant it, and with those words he brought the heavy, steel-enforced butt of the light down hard on the back of her skull.

----

See? Staggeringly unoriginal concept. I'm hoping I'll be able to warp it into something interesting, but if not I can at least revel in my own absurdity.


	2. Headvoices

Perpetrator's Note: Yes, it continues, and drags Squee along for the ride. Since I didn't put a disclaimer in the first chapter, I'll do it now: none of this is mine; it all belongs to the great Jhonen Vasquez, may his insomnia never die.

------

Devi's consciousness was slow to return, as though it knew what awaited her upon waking. She lurked in the comforting fog as long as she could, until the pull of reality could no longer be denied.

The first thing she was aware of was pain--not a sharp pain, but a dull, thumping ache that rose and ebbed with every beat of her heart. Her head spun, and even with her eyes closed the world wobbled nauseatingly.

The second thing was the rope.

Well, not precisely _rope_; it felt more like her wrists had been bound with plastic zip-ties, several lengths of which led to an ancient futon frame. She was lying on the futon itself, hands bound but feet free, beneath a worn plaid comforter.

_Oh, SHIT._

She risked opening one eye, wincing at the dim light. The room she lay in was almost empty--but for the futon its only decoration was a peeling, water-stained Happy Noodle Boy poster. There was a window, though, a window that cast a faint square of silver on the bare floor.

Devi opened her other eye, fighting her heaving stomach. This was bad. This was so far beyond bad that it almost approached it from the other side--maybe in some Einsteinian reversal of the laws of sanity she'd be able to see herself enjoying it. She ought to be terrified, to be weighted with the fear that had oppressed her since she'd first fled this house, but she wasn't.

She wasn't scared. She was _pissed._

However, she was also in pain, so being pissed could wait. Devi didn't know precisely where in Nny's house she was, but the window meant it had to be aboveground. Once she'd rested a little, once her skull no longer throbbed, then maybe she could rip her way free of these ridiculous restraints and get the hell out of here.

"You can't break them, you know."

Her eyes widened, snapping to the far corner. A pair of feet stuck out of the shadows, and a moment later Nny leaned into the muted light. "Zip ties are some of the strongest things I've ever seen…you can hold a wall together with just a handful of them."

Almost involuntarily she glanced at her wrists--she was right, they really _were _zip ties. How humiliating.

"I'm sorry I had to hit you," Nny said, crossing the floor to the futon, "and I'm sorry these are necessary--" a gesture at the plastic ties "--but I wanted to talk to you, and I had a feeling you wouldn't want to listen."

Devi glared at him. "Because this situation is going to make me _so _amenable," she snapped. Jesus, what had she done to earn such fucked-up karma? "You already talked to me, remember? You said you were going to give me your nothing." She paused, he vision swimming. "News flash: THIS IS NOT NOTHING, JOHNNY!"

He winced, something that might almost have been hurt flickering over his face. "I _had _to, Devi," he said. "I had to bring you here, to talk to you--I have to make you understand why I did what I did."

Devi shut her eyes, waiting for the world to stop spinning. A vision of Sickness danced in her head, Sickness still trapped in her painting; what had she said? '_Your friend thought he could resist…'_ She knew that Sickness had only found her through her contact with Nny, and that possibly the only thing that had saved her from becoming like him was the fact that she had 'woken up' too soon. Sickness had tried to tempt her, had told her that if she gave in she could do anything--_even kill_--and in response she had ripped the doll apart.

"I do understand it," she said, glaring up at him once more. "Fuck, I know it better than you would ever believe. I understand it, and you know what? I _still _hate you."

Nny twitched as if she'd slapped him, but Devi cut him off before he could speak. "What were you planning on doing once you'd made me 'understand', anyway?" she demanded. "You want me to see things your way--to forgive you--and then what? You finish what I so rudely interrupted a year ago?"

She bit off the rest, knowing she'd hit home--Nny looked like she'd kicked him in the stomach. What she was doing was stupid--suicidal, even--but she couldn't keep her mouth shut; the tide of furious resentment that had been building this last year was finding a way out whether she wanted it to or not.

"I would _never_--" he choked, and twitched again. "Devi, I would never, _ever _do that again--I could never hurt you."

"That's a lot of 'nevers'," she said, and sighed. "Nny, this is stupid--I don't know what you hoped to accomplish by this--" she jerked at the embarrassingly effective restraints "--but it can't work. You _know _it can't work."

"_Why not?!_" Nny demanded, the words nearly a shriek. "I _said _I was sorry, I _said _I wouldn't hurt you--why won't you believe me? I know I said I wouldn't ask for forgiveness, but--ugh, I KNEW this was a bad idea." He was pacing now, bony hands clenched in his short spiky hair.

Devi groaned. "Exactly how is kidnapping ever a _good _idea? You didn't really think this through, did you?"

"Hey, it wasn't my idea, all right! MEAT's the one who said I should try to work things out with you." He froze, instantly realizing how bizarre (and stupid) that sounded.

Devi blinked. "Okay, I realize I'm going to regret asking this, but who--or what--is 'MEAT'?"

Nny grimaced. "He's…Reverend MEAT, if you have to ask. He told me that I'd never be able to desensitize myself unless I found some closure with you."

Glancing again at her bound wrists, Devi's expression grew pained. "And _this _was the best thing you could come up with? You know, most people, when they want to symbolize their own movement beyond some unhappy event, light a candle. Or plant a tree, or sacrifice a chicken. They _don't _kidnap their one-time date and truss her up like a goddamn pork roast!"

"Hey, I had to improvise, all right!" He was still pacing, a skeletal wraith who seemed to swim in his clothes. "I _did _think about it, Devi, I just…I didn't…oh, shit, what a mess."

He sat on the edge of the futon, head in his hands. At this angle it would be more than easy for her to kick him, and she was somewhat surprised to find that at the moment she didn't want to. Had she not known all too well what he was, in that instant she would have thought him nothing more than a sad, lost young man. So much for her character judgment.

"_All right, let's take stock here."_

Devi froze, and cursed inwardly. She'd been hoping to avoid this, but she was more than stressed enough to allow ghosts of Sickness to creep into her forebrain.

"_Johnny C. is within kicking distance, and you haven't kicked him. Would you care to explain why?"_

She groaned. "Great, because I so needed this," she murmured. "All right, much as I'm probably going to regret this, what are we doing, Johnny?"

He looked at her, peering through the cage of his fingers. "What do you mean?"

"What are we doing? I'm here, you're here, and as I have little to no control over the situation, I'd say what's next is your call."

Nny blinked at her, regarding her closely. "You're not scared," he said, the words a statement rather than a question. "Why aren't you scared? I mean, I'm not complaining," he added, "but even Squee's scared of me, and I've never hurt him." His eyes, too big and sunken in his thin face, considered her curiously.

"_Yeah, Devi, do tell--we'd _all _like to know."_

She shut her eyes again. God, that was a complicated question, one she wasn't sure she knew how to answer.

"I don't know," she said, realizing even as she said it that it was only half true--part of her did know, and it was a part she wasn't about to allow see the light of day. Or night, as the case might be.

"Don't lie to me, Devi."

The words were close--far too close for comfort. She opened her eyes to find Nny hovering over her, his face inches from hers, his own eyes wide and intensely, unsettlingly unbalanced. This close she could smell him--a combination of dust and chalk, soap and machine oil and something else, something unidentifiably musty but not unpleasant.

Devi jerked, biting back an involuntary shriek--she hadn't expected him to do that, to move so close, so fast--and so quietly. Her first instinct was to push him away--she wasn't really a touchy-feely person, though she was positively affectionate compared to Nny--but the damned plastic ties negated that option.

"I'm not," she said, the words so faint as to be almost inaudible. Once the initial jolt of her alarm had passed, she realized with no small amount of shock that his proximity didn't repel her. "I _don't _know, Johnny, not really. I mean…." She trailed off, unable to form any kind of cohesive thought under the dual drill-bit of his stare.

Nny didn't move. "You are," he said. "Whether you know it or not, _I _can tell." He stared at her, his face still and cold but his eyes alight with bright, fervent intensity. "We're going to be spending a lot of time together--I'd like to know I could trust you to tell the truth."

Devi's eyes narrowed, her half-dissipated rage coalescing once more. "I can't be scared of you, Johnny," she said, the words almost a snarl. "I can't be afraid of you because I _fucking **hate **you too much, you son of a bitch!_"

Nny recoiled, and she sat up as much as she was able, struggling against the ties. "I _liked _you, Nny. I liked you a lot--I thought you might be the first decent guy I'd ever met, that I might have found in you someone I could actually share my life with. And you RUINED IT!" she screamed. "You tried to _kill _me, Nny, but if it was only that I'd've given up hating you ages ago. You made me like you--you made me trust you--and then you fucked it all up! And you think I could _ever _forgive you for that?"

She fell silent, glaring at him, a frizz of purple hair dangling crazily in front of her face. "You're crazy, Nny, but I didn't think you were stupid."

He watched her for a moment, frozen. "I don't want your forgiveness, Devi," he said, standing. "I just want you to understand. There were these things, the Doughboys--they told me that killing you, that 'immortalizing the moment' was the only way I could keep the happiness you brought me. They were--"

"Dolls, right?" Devi interjected. "Dolls with voices. They fed off your creativity, and tried to trick you into thinking you were just insane. Am I right?"

Her words halted him mind-rant. He rounded on her, regarding her with narrowed eyes. "How did you know that?" he demanded. "I never told anyone! _How did you know?_"

Devi groaned, rolling her eyes. "Because I had one too!" she snapped. "You're not the only nutcase in the world, Nny. Christ, even Tenna's got that squeaky thing, Spooky--crazy happens all the time. I hate to break it to you, Nny, but in that you're hardly unique."

Nny stood, silent, digesting this. He really was pathetically thin, she thought--he had to have lost at least a stone since she'd last seen him, and the shadows under his cavernous eyes were bruise-dark.

"You had one too?" he repeated. He couldn't fathom it--Devi had seemed so _normal_, so sane and whole compared to him.

"_Johnny, no offense, but _rocks _are sane and whole compared to you."_

"Oh, shut up," he said aloud. "Not you," he added to Devi, shaking his head as if to dislodge MEAT's unwelcome voice.

Devi stared at him. "It's with you right now, isn't it?" she asked. "In your head, poisoning you. I know all about headvoices, Nny, and while I know they told you to do what you did, I don't care. You didn't have to do it, you chose to. And now I wish you'd choose to let me out of here."

"_No you don't." _It was Sickness again, whispering within her brain. "_You want to stay here, Devi; admit it. You wouldn't hate him so much if he hadn't hurt you, and he wouldn't have hurt you so much if you didn't care about him."_

Nny looked at her again, his eyes lost in shadow. "I can't let you go, Devi, and I can't kill you." He paused. "You're really not leaving me with many options, you know."

He considered a moment, wringing his spidery hands. "I know what we need," he said, flashing her an almost manic grin. "We need an intermediary. A therapist, if you will. Stay here, I'll be back." And before she could protest he was gone, not out the door but out the window, shutting it squeakily behind him.

Devi groaned, her head thunking back against the wall. "Why me?" she asked, silently daring Sickness to answer.

"_Hey, you're the one who went out with him in the first place_," Sickness sneered, as Devi tried to bring one wrist within biting distance--if she was lucky, maybe she could chew through the plastic.

"Fut uph," she snapped, gnawing away.

"_Well, you _did_. Like I said, you've wanted to see him again. You're just sick enough to be fascinated rather than repelled, whether you'll admit it or not."_

Devi was too busy chewing to grace that one with a response, but Sickness' laughter echoed in her head anyway.

-----

The snow crunched dryly underfoot as Nny hopped the fence than ran between his house and Squee's. The kid might be terrified of everything, but he wasn't stupid, and it was a sign of just how cracked Nny still was that he thought using a small boy as a therapist was a good idea.

"This isn't working out the way I wanted it to," he said, shivering as he snuck across the yard.

"_Well, honestly, did you expect it to be easy?"_ MEAT asked. "_You scared the hell out of her, Nny, but worse than that you hurt her. Of course she wants to kick your teeth in right now."_

"You know, for the guy who suggested this whole thing, you're not being very helpful."

"_Yeah, well, making it work is _your _job."_

"Thanks," he snorted, scrambling up the drainpipe and fumbling Squee's window open. The kid's room was as dismal as always, and Squee himself was burrowed into the blankets like a mouse in its den.

"Hey, Squeegee." Nny poked the huddled blanket-ball. "Wake up, I need your help."

Squee's eyes appeared over the comforter's edge. "Did you hurt someone?" he asked. "Because I can't help you with that. I mean, I _could_, but I won't."

Nny shook his head. "No, not tonight," he said. "I need you to come and talk to somebody, though. She's kind of pissed at me, and I'm hoping you can fix that."

The rest of Squee's face appeared. "She?" he asked, dragging Shmee out from under the covers. "Is it the purple-haired girl you're always following?"

"Yeah--hey, how'd you know that?" he demanded.

"Shmee told me." Squee jabbed the bear with one finger. "You're not going to kill her, are you?"

Nny shook his head, scrubbing a hand across his eyes. "No, but she doesn't believe me," he said. "That's why I need you. You're going to be our therapist."

Squee blinked at him. Young as he was, he could see immediately the thousand flaws inherent in that idea, but he was smart enough to know that pissing off Scary Neighbor Man wasn't a good idea.

"If you say so," he said, crawling out of bed.

"_This could get interesting," _Shmee cackled. "_I wanna watch."_

------

Devi was still industriously chewing as Nny and Squee hopped back over the fence. All she'd received for her pains were cut gums and sore teeth, and the continued laughter of Sickness, who found the whole situation amusing beyond words.

"_You don't really want out, Devi. Stop fighting already."_

"Fuu oo," she said, gnawing away.

"_You and that word. Though on that vein, has it escaped your attention that he's tied you, more or less, to a bed?"_

Devi froze mid-bite.

"Will you _shut up?"_ she snarled, spitting out the plastic. She'd been trying to ignore that very fact, though with Nny she doubted she need worry--serial killer he might be, but he didn't strike her as the type to try anything like _that._

"_You wouldn't mind if he did, though, would you? You don't let yourself think about it, but I see it in you--I see that twist in your soul, that fractured kink that wonders. It's half of why you won't sleep anymore--you don't want to dream about him--"_

"Shut UP!" she screamed. "Shut up shut up SHUT UP! I did not _ask _for your FUCKING INPUT!"

"_You never do, Devi dear. Just keep it in mind."_

_------_

Like it? Hate it? Let me know. Next chapter sees Therapist!Squee, along with Tenna and Spooky. (Eep)


	3. Contagious Insanity

Perpetrator's Note: Woohoo! Finally, reviews--thank you, all you lovely people, for assuring me that I do, in fact, exist (unlike the light in the refrigerator when the door is shut). W00t.

Anyway, as before, I own none of it, much though I'd like to, and the only payment I receive is very cramped fingers. As always, let me know how I'm doing and I'll love you forever.

------

Dawn was fast approaching when Tenna nerved herself to venture up to Devi's apartment. She'd heard thumps and muffled yelling, which weren't all that unusual for Devi (especially when a painting wasn't going well), but the silence that followed was somewhat worrisome. Arming herself with a flashlight, she set out to investigate.

The door to cranky Mr. O'Toole's apartment was open, a screwdriver still jammed into the annihilated lock. Gripping the flashlight in one hand and Spooky in the other Tenna crept in, knowing already that her light knock wouldn't get a response.

The apartment was cold and dark, what few candles Mr. O'Toole had lit having long since burnt out. The sky beyond his windows was faintly grey--the only hint of the coming sunrise was a slight lightening of the oppressive clouds, reflecting off the heavy snow. Tenna cast her flashlight over the living room and tiny kitchen, finding nothing amiss--whoever had broken in, they hadn't been interested in robbery.

"I don't like this, Spooky," she whispered, creeping toward the bedroom. "I don't like this at--"

Her words cut off abruptly. The beam of her flashlight had caught on something dark and wet, pooling near a divot in the floor near the bedroom doorway. Unobservant and silly as Tenna might be, even she could recognize it easily for what it was. She swallowed, an unaccustomed stab of fear piercing her normally sunny obliviousness.

Two steps further revealed a foot, twisted at a horribly unnatural angle; three more and she found the rest of Mr. O'Toole--at least, most of him. Blood splattered the walls in dark, sticky Rorschach blots, the drips half-congealed and smelling strongly of copper. O'Toole's head had been severed--not neatly, but with broad, hurried hacks, the ragged stump still oozing wetly. The rest of him looked like he'd been bludgeoned, probably with the crowbar that still lay in the corner.

Tenna stifled a scream, jerking the flashlight upward and fighting an urge to vomit. She lost, and the resultant shower of puke made Linda Blaire look like she hadn't been trying.

She would have fled then and there, but the jerky light caught a well of darkness where none should have been, and Tenna, sick with terror, crept closer.

There was a hole in the ceiling, leading up into what would be Devi's closet. Unlike O'Toole, the cuts made in the sheetrock were clean and precise, leaving little dust behind. Whoever had murdered the unpleasant old man had done it to get up into Devi's apartment….

"Oh, _fuck_," Tenna swore, and now she did flee, squeaking Spooky like mad as she slipped and slithered over the bloody floor. She might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she could think of only one person who would take such gruesome pains to gain access to Devi's apartment.

"Please be okay, please be okay," she whispered, barreling down the hallway and up the stairs. "God, don't let that psycho fuck have killed her…"

As she had feared, Devi's door was wide open as well. The thought that Nny might still be in there never even crossed her mind--she just slammed right in, casting the flashlight about in a wild sweep, convinced she would find her friend's bloody corpse nailed to the wall.

There wasn't any blood, though, and while there were signs of a struggle--the smashed lamp, a candle that looked like it had made contact with someone's teeth--there didn't seem to be any indications of darker violence.

"Shit, oh shit," Tenna squeaked. "Okay, okay, Spooky, what the hell are we going to do? He's got her, probably…eee, this is bad. Should we call the police?"

"_I can show you where he lives," _Spooky said. "_He hasn't hurt her--yet--so maybe you can help. Calling the police wouldn't do any good--Johnny is protected from them, and from everyone else he doesn't want to find him. I can take you to him, though, and we can do whatever we can."_

Tenna stopped sniffling, and her expression grew melodramatically grim. "All right," she said. "We don't leave our people in there."

"_I can already see _this _is going to end well__," _Spooky said, but his reply was lost as Tenna thundered back down the stairs.

------

Scary Neighbor Man's house was surprisingly warm. Squee had expected it to be cold and dark and full of human heads mounted on trophy plaques. Instead it was just shabby and dusty, with various things nailed to the walls here and there (some of which may have once been alive), but this part of it at least was much less macabre than he had imagined.

"Go say hi to Devi," Johnny said, pointing to a closed door down the hallway. "She's in there. I'll make some cocoa, and I'll be there in a minute."

Slightly disturbed by the mental image of Scary Neighbor Man making hot cocoa, Squee knocked on the door and went in, shutting it behind him and leaning against it. Hugging Shmee in a death-grip, he blinked his big eyes at Devi, who was too busy still trying to gnaw through her restraints to notice him.

"Hi," he said shyly, relieved to see that Scary Neighbor Man really hadn't done anything bad to her.

Devi's eyes snapped to him, wide and paranoid. She spat out the plastic again, staring at him. "Uh, hi," she said, wondering what in the name of all hell a kid was doing in this place. "I don't suppose you could get me out of these, could you?"

Squee shook his head. "I think that might piss off Scary Neighbor Man," he said. "He wanted me to come talk to you."

"Scary Neighbor--? Well, that's…fitting." Great--he'd dragged the (understandably) terrified neighbor kid into this. "Did he say _why _he wanted you to talk to me?"

Squee crept away from the door, hopping up onto the end of the futon and clutching Shmee like a life preserver. "I think he wants me to tell you he's not dangerous," he said, and was not surprised when Devi let out an incredulous snort. "Yeah, I know, but he told me that you didn't believe he wouldn't hurt you, so he wanted me to tell you. That he wouldn't, I mean."

"Uh-huh," Devi said skeptically. "And do you believe him?" She leaned over and resumed chewing, not about to waste time in idle chit-chat.

The little boy shrugged. "I dunno," he said. "I think he doesn't _want _to." He looked at her curiously, at her wild purple hair and the dark bags under her eyes. "You look like he does, when he hasn't been sleeping. Do you not sleep, either?"

"I try not to," she said indistinctly, and spat the plastic out yet again. "Dammit, I haven't seen him in over a year--what made him come after me _now?_" Granted, she hadn't forgotten him in that year--her ravaged sleep was indication enough of that--but surely Nny should have fixated on something (or someone) else by now. She had figured, when the first few months went by and he didn't pop up and slaughter her, that he'd forgotten about her…although that had only been a marginal comfort, for she found the idea of him forgetting her to be almost perversely painful.

"He's been planning it," Squee said. "He follows you around a lot."

She froze. Oh, she'd suspected Nny was around, sometimes--she could feel his presence, even if she couldn't see him, but having her suspicions confirmed didn't help. She knew she should be horrified, and by and large she was, but she was also sickly…flattered. Nobody had ever cared enough to pursue her, and though there was something more than wrong with the idea that a crazed killer should decide she was worth it, the fact remained that he had. The fact that he'd done it and hadn't yet killed her was…well, gratifying, in a twisted sort of way.

"_Okay, that's creepy,"_ Sickness averred. "_And you like it, don't you?"_

Devi growled, but didn't respond. "Do you have any idea what he plans to _do _with me, exactly?"

The little boy shrugged. "I'm not sure even he knows," he said. "He doesn't really think his plans through, I don't think."

"Now there's an understatement," she said, and sighed. "Where is he now?"

Squee regarded her carefully. He knew much more about Scary Neighbor Man's obsession with Devi than he was willing to let on--he doubted Nny himself realized just how much Squee knew.

"He's making hot chocolate," he said. "He'll be in in a bit." Judging by Devi's expression, she found the idea of Nny and cocoa just as incompatible as he did.

"…Right. So he wants you to talk to me, does he? Did he happen to say what about?" she asked. Her eyes slid shut as she spoke, an unspeakable weight of weariness pressing down on her--it had been far, far too long since she'd properly slept, and the sleep debt she'd accumulated was threatening to drop on her like an anvil. Apparently her body had decided that all that time spent unconscious didn't count.

Another shrug. "He likes you. I think he thinks that if you see he hasn't hurt me, you'll like him back."

Devi digested that a moment. "That's a very…astute assessment for a little boy," she said. "And given how fucked-up it is, it's probably accurate."

"**_He'll kill her sooner or later_**."

Squee looked down at Shmee, the bear's blank eyes glinting in the half-light. Shmee had been with him as long as he could remember, but lately the bear's musings and advice had been rather…dark. Darker than normal, anyway, and that was saying something. "I don't think so," he said aloud. "Don't be such a…a pessimist, Shmee."

Devi stared. _He's just pretending_, she thought. _Kids do that kind of shit, right? Talk to everything?_

"Uh, kid…what's your name, anyway?" she asked, eying the bear as though expecting it to come alive, to move like Sickness had.

He looked up at her. "Todd," he said. "But Scary Neighbor Man calls me Squee."

"Uh-huh." There was something creepy about the kid--he was too small, and the eyes in his pale, pointed face were too large and disturbingly luminous--sickly phosphorous rather than clear moonlight. "Okay, Squee, I don't…that is, you're pretending to talk to your bear, right? He's not…." _Not really answering back, is he? Fuck, don't tell me this kid's as crazy as Nny and I._

The creepy eyes blinked. "Of course he talks back," he said simply. "He's my friend. His name is Shmee." He held the bear out, heedless of the restraints that bound Devi's hands. "Here, say hi."

Devi stared at the bear. It was old, and looked it--the fur was rubbed off in places, and one eye was coming loose. There was something in its blank, dumb expression that reminded her horribly of Sickness, before the doll had come out of the painting and jammed in screws for eyes.

"_**Of course I'm real. I'm just as real as your…Sickness**._"

Devi jerked, cracking her head against the wall. She gaped at the bear, her eyes gone as round as its own--that wasn't Sickness' voice, but it was frighteningly similar.

"Did that--" she started, but couldn't finish the sentence.

"He must really _like _you," Squee said, hugging the bear again. "He's never talked to anyone else before."

"_I see you've found another friend._" It really _was _Sickness this time, shrill and smug. "_My, aren't you accumulating us at an exponential rate."_

"Holy fuck," she said aloud. "You've gotta be _shitting_ me."

Squee blinked again. "Who was that?" he asked. "She's…new."

"_Perceptive little squirt, isn't he?" _Sickness sniggered.

"You shut up," Devi snapped. Christ, this _had _to be a nightmare--the idea of communal headvoices was seven different kinds of Not Right. Sickness had spoken before, and the kid hadn't heard her--why now? Just how many people _had _these voices, these…psychic leeches…anyway?

"**_More than you'd think, lady. We're everywhere."_**

"_Yeah, Mother. You can't hide from us, because there's nowhere to hide."_

"Well, fuck," Devi swore. She was tired--exhausted, really--and she was afraid, and she was angry, and in that state she couldn't have blocked out Sickness if she'd tried. This new guy--Shmee--seemed just as vicious as Sickness, but the little kid seemed to like him, in a twisted, dependent kind of way.

"_Look on the bright side, Mother_," Sickness sneered. "_Your life is so much more _interesting _this way."_

_------_

Johnny was taking much more time with the cocoa that was necessary. He fiddled with the pan, stirring with an old fork with only one tine left--all his spoons had disappeared somewhere, probably in the bodily orifices of some unfortunate bastard in the basement. Now that he had Devi _here, _he was terrified; Squee was right in saying Nny didn't tend to think his plans through. He'd been so focused on getting her here that he hadn't stopped to realize that eventually he was going to have to let her out again. Or…

-_Don't even think about it, Nny-. _It was Reverend MEAT again. -_You feel for her--feel more than you've felt for anything, ever. Even if you don't know it, I do, so trust me on this.-_

"I wasn't thinking about anything," he retorted, still stirring assiduously. "I could never hurt Devi…you're in my head, you should know that."

-_Just making sure- _

"I don't need you as a conscience," Nny said, shaking his head. "That's what I've got Nailbunny for."

Except that Nailbunny hadn't been talking lately. Johnny didn't know if he should be relieved or worried--on the one hand, lack of an auditory conscience meant he had nothing hindering his…hobbies, but on the other it meant his sanity was probably a bit more stable than it had been in a while. And, barring a few exceptionally unpleasant assholes, he'd cut down on his 'hobby' considerably.

-_See?_- MEAT said. -_I know what's good for you, my boy. Following Devi has left you with little time for all your other business. She's a much more healthy obsession._-

"For me or her?" he wondered aloud. "She keeps me from killing things, but…fuck, MEAT, she doesn't like me. And I really can't blame her--I mean, I _did _try to gut her like a fish."

_-Oh, that was ages ago_- MEAT said dismissively. -_Trust me, Nny-boy, she doesn't hate you. She _thinks _she does, but I have it on good authority that she's much more attracted to you than she realizes._-

Had Johnny been less keyed-up, he'd have wondered just whose authority MEAT was basing that assessment on. Cynical as he was, he couldn't help but hope the burger boy was right--he wanted Devi, he _needed _Devi, and if there was even a slight chance she wouldn't despise him, he was willing to grasp at it.

-_You heat that any more, it'll burn to the pan. Quit stalling already._-

With a frustrated growl he turned off the heat, pouring the cocoa into three chipped mugs. Hearing voices was bad enough, but hearing voices with more common sense than himself was worse.

"Fine," he said. "I'll…try."

-_Try not. Do, or do not--there is no 'try'_.-

"_Star Wars_?" he said, pausing in the act of lifting the mugs. "You're quoting _Star Wars _at me?"

-_Why not? You quoted _The Fly_. What goes around comes around, Nny._-

"Oh, shut up."

-----

Things were quiet enough when Nny reached the bedroom. He had some fun fumbling with the lock, stifling a yelp when the burning cocoa sloshed out of a mug and onto his hand, but eventually he got the door open and stepped inside, glaring at the room in general and daring MEAT to comment.

Devi was where he'd left her, though the tie on one wrist bore several deep teeth-marks. Squee sat beside her, clinging to Shmee. Both their eyes snapped to him when he entered, and Devi twitched visibly.

"Hi," he said, with forced joviality. "I brought hot chocolate."

He handed one mug to Squee, but paused when he got to Devi, realizing too late that her bound hands presented a problem. Did he dare free even one? With most people he wouldn't hesitate, confident that there was no way they'd be able to hurt him if they did manage to escape, but he hadn't forgotten the ass-kicking Devi had given him. Fuck.

Devi raised her eyebrows, reading the dilemma in his face. _She _hadn't forgotten the ass-whooping, either, but she highly doubted she could do it again. He'd been caught off-guard, then, and she hadn't had even one hand tied to anything.

"_You don't want to anyway, do you, Mother?"_

She ground her teeth, hoping to God Squee hadn't heard that, but by the confusion on his face she knew he had. Shit. The kid was young enough that he probably wouldn't understand the implications of Sickness' words, but she still didn't want him hearing them.

There was a _clunk _and a glugging sound--Nny had dropped one of the mugs, the cocoa sloshing everywhere, and when Devi looked at him her heart sank when she saw him staring at her, white-faced.

"You hear her too, don't you?" she groaned. "Great. Fucking great."

Nny was still staring. "What…the _hell _was that?" he demanded. Belatedly remembering the remaining mugs, he passed one to Squee, and crept over to sit next to the kid on the edge of the futon.

Devi shut her eyes, her head falling back against the wall again. "Sickness," she told him. "Her voice, anyway. She…comes back when I'm stressed, but…." _But why the fuck can _you _hear her? Why can the kid? What the _hell _is going on here, anyway?_

"Why does she call you 'Mother'?" Squee asked, realizing after a moment that Scary Neighbor Man wasn't going to respond. He'd never seen Scary Neighbor Man so…tense--Squee could feel the tension coming off him in palpable waves.

"_She _is _my mother," _Sickness said smugly. "_She gave me form, and she gave me my voice. She doesn't like her imperfect child…much like your own parents don't like you, Todd._"

Squee jerked, his eyes widening, and Devi scowled. "You shut the fuck up, you dumb bitch," she snarled. "Don't listen to her, kid, she's full of shit."

"**_No, she's right,"_ **Shmee put in. "**_It's like I keep telling you, Todd--they hate you. Everyone hates you, except your homicidal neighbor, and that isn't saying much."_**

"_Mother doesn't hate him,_" Sickness chimed. "_But she's got a soft spot for fucked-up guys."_

Through all this Nny hadn't moved, nor made a sound. Finally, after a long moment of silence, he looked at Devi. "What the fuck is going on here?" he asked, echoing her own question. "I mean…the Doughboys, and MEAT, I hear them and all that shit, but…_your _voices, I shouldn't…what the fuck?"

"Oh, you think _I _know?" she demanded. "I can hear the kid's bear talking, he can hear Sickness, and apparently you can hear both of them, too. Do you have someone to contribute, or, and believe me the irony of this question is not lost on me, are you the sane one in the room?"

-_Define 'sane'_.-

Both Devi and Squee blinked. "…Okay, that answers that one," Devi said. "So do any of you erudite bastards have a plan here, or are you just the audience in this fucked-up play?"

"_Well, as always, I want you to just give in, Mother,"_ Sickness purred. "_Give in to your instincts--stop _thinking _so much."_

"**_Burn shit,"_ **Shmee chimed. "**_Burn it all."_**

-_Oh, both of you stuff it,-_ MEAT snapped. -_We're here for a reason, or at least _I _am. So let's make this pleasant.- _

Nny, Devi, and Squee shared a glance. "Could this _get _any more fucked up?" Devi groaned. And, the laws of narrative being what they are, the doorbell promptly rang--or, more properly, it screamed.

"I'll…be right back," Nny said, rising slowly and moving like a sleepwalker down the hallway. He was still in a daze when he opened the door, and found himself blinking at a tall black woman radiating repressed terror and fury.

"Are _you _Johnny C?" she demanded, thrusting a small rubber skeleton in his face and squeaking it loudly.

He batted the skeleton away. "Who wants to know?"

"_We do_."

"Yeah, we do," the woman agreed. "Now where's Devi?"

Nny regarded the squeaky toy with deep suspicion--Christ, _another _one?

"Get in here," he said, seizing Tenna's collar and dragging her bodily into the house.

"Hey--!" she started, but Nny was in no mood to play nice. Slamming the door behind him, he dragged the kicking, screeching Tenna down the hallway, hauling her into the bedroom and slamming that door as well.

"This," he grunted, producing yet more zip ties from a pocket and somehow securing Tenna's wrists behind her, "has gotten _way _too fucking weird." Ignoring Squee and Devi's horrified stares he dropped Tenna in a corner, grabbing her kicking feet and binding them as well. "Nobody's going _anywhere _until we figure out what the hell is going on."

"_You're going to be here for a while,_" Sickness snickered.

-_No kidding,_- MEAT agreed. -_Anyway, you don't need to know what's going on, at least as far as I'm concerned. What you need to do is face the truth…truths, really. You're all deluded, and it's our job to dispel those delusions._-

"What the hell does _that _mean?" Nny demanded.

"**_You'll find out soon enough,"_ **Shmee said, and laughed.

------

And it only gets weirder from here…next chapter sees the Parliament of headvoices, doing their best to sort out/fuck up their hosts' lives, and some realizations (wanted and otherwise) on the part of Nny and Devi. (Be afraid. Or at least mildly disturbed).


	4. A Schizophrenic Democracy

Perpetrator's Note: Here the madness continues…the headvoices gang up on their hapless hosts, forcing revelations both welcome and…not. Humor, drama, romance, and general stupidity abound.

Disclaimer: Still don't own it, much as I wish I did.

------

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Nny demanded. "I've heard you before, Mr. Bear--I called you a lint-infested bastard for a reason."

Devi could _hear_ the grin in the bear's voice. "**_I'm just a friend, Johnny," _**it said. "**_Just a concerned…friend. How long have I protected little Todd, here? I've kept the worst of his trauma from him, soaking it up like the mother of all paper towels…can you really call me a bastard?"_**

Johnny eyed the bear, paranoia etched on his face like acid on glass. "Yes," he said. "You're no different from the Doughboys, are you? You all take something from us, don't you?"

-_Hey, I don't take jack shit,-_ MEAT objected. -_I give--I give you feelings, ideas, the will to create._-

"The will to kidnap my girlfriend," Nny snorted. "Which was a _brilliant _idea, by the way."

A choking noise escaped Devi's throat. "Wait, since when was I your girlfriend?" she asked, blowing yet another obstinate frizz of hair from her face. "One date hardly qualifies you to use that term." As soon as the words were out of her mouth she winced, realizing that they were perhaps not the best thing to say to a man whose sanity hung by a cobweb, but when Nny looked at her his expression was sad rather than angry.

"I…you _were_," he said. "I mean…I wanted you to be. Devi, I--"

"Tried to kill her, you freak!" In her corner, Tenna was struggling, but Nny had been right about the zip ties--she wasn't going anywhere, however ridiculous the restraints might seem. "I saw what you did to Mr. O'Toole! Jesus, you bashed his head in like an egg!"

Devi recoiled--she hadn't known how Johnny had gotten into her apartment, but Tenna's words painted a horribly vivid picture. She hadn't exactly liked Mr. O'Toole--he was always yelling and smoking foul un-filtered cigarettes that stank up half the building--but however unpleasant he might have been, he hadn't deserved Nny's…attention.

Nobody but Squee saw Johnny's fists clench, but Devi watched as his face whitened with rage.

"Nny!" she cried, as he rounded on Tenna with almost spooky quickness and produced a knife from God only knew where. "Dammit, Nny, _no!_"

He froze, glancing at the knife as though just now noticing it. "Ah, heh heh," he said, and it disappeared as quickly as it had materialized. He turned to Devi with an expression that said, _Who, me? _The effect was rather spoiled when the knife dropped out of his pocket, clattering to the floor.

"…Damn," he muttered, taking in Devi's appalled expression. "See, I stopped myself," he said, half defiantly. "I'm getting better."

_-Of course you are, Nny,_- MEAT said soothingly. -_Your 'productivity' has gone down by half in the last few weeks. Give it time, my boy, give it time._-

Johnny groaned. "MEAT, you're not helping," he said, his face reddening--with embarrassment or anger, Devi couldn't tell with. Knowing Nny, it was probably both.

"_That's okay, Mother doesn't mind,"_ Sickness chirped, much to Devi's horror. "_She won't let herself think about all that anyway."_

"**_Yeah, I keep having to remind Todd here that Nny's really a homicidal nutcase," _**Shmee said irritably. "**_Damn kid's too trusting."_**

"Hey!" Squee and Johnny protested in unison. "Shut it, lintball," Nny warned. "I gutted you once, and I'll do it again."

"**_See?" _**Shmee said. "**_The immediate reaction is always violence, or at least the threat of violence. Never constructive, only destructive. You're crazy, you little shit."_**

Squee flinched at that, desperately trying to shush the bear. Given how many times Shmee had warned him about Scary Neighbor Man, he was surprised Shmee would dare say such things.

"Squeegee," Nny said, in a voice quiet with suppressed rage, "shut that thing up. I know you're attached to it, and I'd rather not have to flay it in front of you."

"_You do realize how immensely fucked up that sounds, don't you?" _It was Spooky again, Spooky's reedy, squeaky voice. "_Being nuts doesn't mean you have to be violent, you know. Behold Tenna, for instance--mad as a hatter, but cheerful in her insanity._"

"Hey!" Tenna cried. "Spooky, you be nice."

Nny rubbed his temples, twitching gently. While his plan had been admittedly shaky, it most definitely hadn't included anything like _this_. All he'd wanted was to talk to Devi, to…he wasn't sure, actually. In a perfect world he could make her understand, make her forgive him, but though he was crazy he wasn't stupid--he had as much chance of that as he did of killing Mr. Samsa once and for all. No, he was honest enough with himself to know he didn't have a chance with her, but this freaking clown car full of voices was only making everything worse.

"_Who says you don't have a chance, Nny?" _Sickness purred. "_You never know until you try…and in this case, I recommend you do."_

His head snapped up, just in time to see Devi's expression shift from fear to something at once confused and horribly embarrassed. "Why?" he asked. "What good would it do, you…you creepy girly voice-thing? I don't…fuck, I don't know why I did this, any of this…."

_-Yes you do--don't you _dare _go all weepy and melodramatic on me, Johnny-boy. Now's not the time, and you damn well know it. You brought Devi here for a reason--are you going to tell her, or must I?_-

"_Devi's just as stubborn,_" Sickness said, before horrified Nny could even begin to assemble an answer. "_Willfully blind. It's not just me she fights--she won't give in to _anything_. At least yours seems to listen sometimes."_

-_Precious little,- _MEAT snorted. -_For a lunatic, he's surprisingly pigheaded. Once he got rid of the Doughboys, he seemed to understand what he was up against. Which, you know, sucks for me._-

"_We really ought to get paid overtime for this kind of shit…they tell you the only bump's the beginning, while you're waiting for them to crack, and then 'Oh, it'll be smooth sailing, they won't question a thing'. Bullshit, if you ask me."_

"**_Wait, we're supposed to get _paid?" **Shmee demanded. "**_Since when?"_**

_-It's a figure of speech, smart guy,-_ MEAT said wearily. -_I can see why you got stuck being a trauma-sponge.-_

"**_What the hell is that supposed to mean?"_**

At this point Nny finally managed to rally his flagging sanity. "Okay, yeah, I don't know if you all noticed, but we're _right here_," he said. "Can you maybe save insulting us all for later? Shit, it was bad enough when there was just _one _of you." He ran his hands through his hair again, seemingly oblivious to everyone else in the room, and for a moment true silence reigned.

_-Sorry.-_

"_I'm not."_

"**_I'm not sorry for shit."_**

"_That's because you _are _a shit, moron."_

"**_Bite me, asshole."_**

"_If you insist."_

"**_OW! I didn't mean that LITERALLY."_**

"_Really? My mistake. Dumbass."_

Johnny glanced at Squee and Tenna, both of whom were still too pole-axed to really react to such a bizarre exchange. "You guys are worse than grade-school kids," he said, shaking his head. "God, the Doughboys were less annoying than you."

"Doughboys?" Tenna asked, shaking out of her horrified trance.

"They were MEAT's predecessors. I don't miss them."

_-Neither do I. They're the ones who told you to kill her, after all. If they hadn't done that--and you hadn't been stupid enough to listen to them--this happy little convocation wouldn't be necessary.-_

"_Oh, I don't know about _that," Sickness put in. "_Mother was too…normal…then. Even if he hadn't tried to stab her, it would've only been a matter of time before she found out about the other half of his life. She wouldn't have understood."_

Devi sputtered. "What the hell does _understanding_ have to do with it?" she demanded. "Just because I understand it doesn't mean I can forgive or overlook it. And since when the hell are you such a psychologist?"

Nny winced. He'd never really thought about it before--what would _really _have happened if he hadn't gone after her that night? He had always liked to think it would have worked--that she'd be with him now; that MEAT would be right and none of this would be needed. Sickness' words made him realize for the first time that, knowing him, he would have either driven Devi away or--and terrible as the thought was, it was all too plausible--killed her. He couldn't have kept the basements and his 'activities' there a secret forever…how much worse would it have been, if he'd really had something with her, and lost it?

-_Now you're thinking, Nny-boy, but you're only half right. You couldn't have kept it a secret, but if you hadn't fucked up, and she'd stayed with you, there wouldn't have been a secret to keep anymore. Devi would have killed your Doughboys without even knowing she was doing it.-_

Silence. Neither Nny nor Devi could even begin to respond to that, not yet. Squee was too bewildered to speak, but Tenna looked unusually thoughtful.

"So, if Johnny hadn't tried to kill her, Devi would've stopped him being a freaky serial killer?"

-_Pretty much.-_

"…Damn. You really screwed the pooch on that one, didn't you?" Tenna asked Nny. "Nice going." He glared at her, but Sickness interjected before he could do anything worse.

"_It wouldn't have worked_," she said. "_Oh, Mother would have curtailed his 'hobbies', but she wouldn't have really known him. This way she knows who and what he is, and was, and can at least guess at what he might become."_

Devi shut her eyes, trying to tune out Sickness' voice. She was too exhausted and in too much pain to form any coherent protest, and her hold on consciousness was growing more tenuous by the moment. She must have looked as bad as she felt, because when MEAT next spoke his tone was much gentler.

-_She's tired,- _he said. -_We're not going to accomplish anything right now…you two, bugger off somewhere and let the lady and I talk.- _

"_Come on, Trauma Sponge_," Spooky said. "_And you too, Tenna…this isn't our business, right now."_

"But we were supposed to save her from him!" Tenna protested.

"_At the moment, I don't think she needs saving."_

Tenna really didn't have any response for that. She stood when Squee did, clutching Shmee to his chest--the bear was evidently sulking, and had nothing to say to MEAT's peremptory dismissal. They left Nny and Devi alone, traversing the darkened hallway to the disaster that was the living room.

Nny sat silent after they left, watching Devi. She hadn't opened her eyes--he knew she must be completely worn out, and the blow to the head he'd given her couldn't be helping. He hadn't given her a concussion--he knew well exactly how hard to hit, to avoid that--but already a purple-dark bruise was creeping from her hairline. Guilt twisted in his stomach; he knew he shouldn't have done that, and he'd gut anyone else who even thought about it. He'd panicked, plain and simple--he hadn't forgotten the ass-kicking she'd given him any more than she had, but he hadn't meant to hurt her.

-_You'd never mean to hurt her,-_ MEAT said quietly. -_You'd never do it on purpose--you just have to guard against accidents. Like knocking her out with a flashlight.-_

He winced, holding his breath in fear of a responding tirade, but Devi didn't stir. She looked terribly vulnerable in her sleep, a stark contrast to her intense, vivid waking self; in sleep her face was white and still, at peace in a way he'd never seen her awake.

As gently as he could he sat beside her on the futon, careful not to jar or bump her. She'd twisted the comforter in her thrashed attempts at escape, so he fixed it, drawing it up and tucking it in around her. He hadn't meant for any of this to happen, and what he would do when she woke, he didn't know--she was right; he couldn't keep her like this forever. If he thought for a moment he could bind her to him, he'd do it, but as it stood there was no way it could ever work.

"_Cheer up, emo child," _Sickness said, irritated. "_You worry too damn much. Mother might not admit it, but _I _know what's really going on inside her head. Just because she's afraid of you doesn't mean she hates you…honestly, she thinks about you so much it makes me sick."_

Nny blinked. "She does?" he asked, clearly disbelieving. "Why?"

"_Well, part of her _is _still afraid of you…you really did fuck up her ability to trust anything,"_ Sickness said, snickering at his wince. "_She tries her damnedest not to sleep, and it's only half because of nightmares. It's the other half that _really _scares her."_

"'Other half'?" he asked, wondering what the hell the voice was driving at.

"_She dreams about that night all the time, and while half the time you go after her with the knives, the rest of the time you don't. You do the math."_

"Huh?" He leaned back against the wall, bewildered. "What, the rest of the time she beats the shit out of me, like what really happened?"

"_God, you're dumb. What were you doing, just before you went apeshit? Rather, what were you _about _to do?"_

It still took him a minute, but eventually realization dawned. _Oh. _His face flamed, and Sickness laughed unpleasantly. "You mean she…she dreams…?"

"_That you two wound up doing more than kiss? Hell yes. And it scares the shit out of her--she thinks she doesn't want to dream things like that, to _feel _things like that, as far as you're concerned. But she knows that if that were really the case, she wouldn't still do it."_

Nny sat still, digesting this. Of course _he'd _dreamed things like that, on the extremely rare occasions he slept, but Devi…shit. Now he was curious. "You wouldn't happen to have, you know, _details_, would you?" The idea of her seeing him that way, even if it was only in her subconscious, was…intriguing, to say the least. Though his own touch-phobia was as strong as ever, it was markedly weaker where Devi was concerned…so weak it barely registered, really.

Sickness snickered. "_Oh, I could probably show you, but I'll save that for later--Mother would be a little pissed if I let you in on that so soon. I'll save it for when she's awake." _She paused, and added slyly, "_Or you could wait until she shows you herself. She'd do it, you know, if you just played your cards right."_

He choked, sunset blooming on his face once more. "She wouldn't--I mean, not really, not…with me…would she?" Glancing at her, he realized uncomfortably just how close he was to her…hell. He couldn't remember ever doing anything like that with anyone, though MEAT assured him he had. The fact that he wanted to with Devi…honestly, it scared the living hell out of him. But it didn't stop him wanting it, wanting _her_.

-_See? Feeling. It's a good thing.-_

Nny wasn't sure he could agree. Exhilarating, but terrifying…he wasn't sorry he couldn't remember puberty.

"Sooner or later she's going to wake up," he said, to no one in particular. "And _then_ what am I going to do?" He _couldn't_ let her go--not just because he wanted her, but for the entirely practical reason that she might, theoretically, be able to lead someone after him.

He reached out and touched her face, very softly, fingers barely skimming from her bruised forehead to her pale throat. Light as the touch was, it jolted through him like electricity--he didn't just want her, he needed her, needed her with him always.

-_She's yours, Nny--neither of you have realized that just yet. Keep her, until she doesn't want to leave. Do whatever you have to, but don't let her get away again.-_

Johnny let his fingers brush over the tangled purple fall of her hair. "I won't," he murmured. "Not this time."

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Because creepy obsessive Johnny is far too much fun to write. XD Next chapter sees Tenna and Squee and their respective headvoices trying to amuse themselves in Nny's living room, while Devi and Nny wrestle with their not-so-inner demons and a subscription's worth of issues.


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